I am in love. I have been in love with the same person for eight years now, which to some may not seem like a long time. But as is the case, for many people, eight years is the joyful foundation of a relationship in which time is not measured by traditional standards, but in "love standards," which simply means eight years really can be a very long time!
Throughout the course of these past eight years, even though I have always been very in love with my person, I have not always been good to him. I have treated him badly. I've treated our relationship badly. There has been quite a lot of impropriety on my part, and quite a few things that I am especially NOT proud of. But love has always been my guide - and somehow, through the past eight years, I've managed to grow as a person, as an adult - and even though there were more than the usual share of rough patches, our love has never been stronger.
There is this theory about love that it's going to be the all-out-get-out, once it's truly been found. People convince themselves that there is this huge, moonlit, tied with a big bow perfect love out there, waiting for them like Sleepless in Seattle, like Twilight, like the Notebook... but those are the movies. And tricks are for kids, silly Rabbit.
The truth is, "love is all around us, actually" (from the movie "Love Actually"). Not just movie love, but real-life, true-blue love. And it can and indeed will change your life, if you are indeed open to it. But first, more importantly, you have to change yourself. Wait, let me say that again. And let me emphasize it. in bold. and all in caps. and in red.
BUT FIRST, MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOURSELF. YOU MUST LEARN TO NOT BE SELFISH. YOU MUST GROW UP. YOU MUST REALIZE THAT TO GET LOVE, YOU MUST GIVE LOVE.
Next you have to realize that love, while it is amazing, beautiful and powerful, is also hurtful, confusing, and at times downright boring. "Love is a many-splendored thing," and also a many-faceted thing. It is a cruel mistress, a dog that bites, a pain in the ass. It is a blow to the head, a mind fuck, a cry yourself to sleep myriad of joy and pain, smiles and tears. "It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise." -- Maroon Five. Love might not be easy, it might not come with an instruction manual, BUT... love is the single greatest thing in this world.
The point of this blog will be to discuss love - to give love advice - to celebrate the nuances, complications and joys of love. Send me questions. Send me love stories. Post your thoughts. I want to hear from you - but I also want to help you. I am a long-time studier and observer and practitioner of love. I have been in the trenches of love. I have walked a mile in your shoes. I have been lovestruck, broken hearted, addicted to, enthralled and overwhelmed by love, married, divorced, remarried! and I have come out the rabbit hole clean on the other side.
And this brings this post to an end. Sort of. It's all up to you now. Go forth and love and be loved.
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